Do you remember a few years back the popular bumper sticker that read, “Question Authority”? Today it could be replaced by, “Defy Authority.” I see this mantra played out in homes, demonstrated in schools and staged in our communities. These conditions will only change when more parents require that their children see them as authority figures and train their children to question with respect and submit when it’s required.

I didn’t come into parenthood knowing how to do this. My father was a strict authoritarian. Disobeying him was met with swift, physical punishment. So it was natural for me to follow his example. One evening a grammar school son talked back to me and I slapped him across the face. My husband was standing nearby; and when we were alone he said, “If you keep doing that, our children will never feel free to talk to you.”

I had become a Christian a few years prior to this incident and began to read the Bible. It amazed me how Christ spoke with such authority; so I went to Christ in prayer and studied the Bible for a plan of action. Two incidences encouraged me to persevere with this approach.

As a youngster, one of our sons was an incessant talker. As he got older, his comments became arguments. This I could not tolerate; so I prayed. One morning, before leaving for school, he began an argument. Exiting the kitchen, he stepped down into the garage and turned to face me in the doorway and continued his argument. We were eye to eye. I said, “Arguing is not pleasing to God. It takes two to argue. I will not be a party to this any longer.” I turned and walked away. We never argued again.

Both of our sons were involved in another challenge to my authority. We lived at the top of a steep, city hill, crowded with many homes that also had steep driveways down to front doors. The neighborhood boys, ours included, felt that all these slopes were made especially for their skateboards. It wasn’t long until the neighbors began to complain about the noise and hazards. I told our boys that they could no longer join the fun. They put up a good verbal and pouting battle; but I ended it by saying, “I have a responsibility before God to keep you safe and our neighbors happy. If you don’t like my decision, talk to God about it.”

A few days later I was at the kitchen window looking onto the only flat street on the hill, which ran along the side of our house. I watched the skateboarders doing their thing. Our boys were also watching, sitting forlornly on the curb, skateboards held to their chests.

After a few minutes I walked out towards them and said, “ Boys, if we can come up with a few rules to overcome the problems created by skateboarding on the hill, you can join your friends.” Still holding their skateboards, the boys jumped up; and I heard one say to the other, “It worked! He heard us.” At that point I realized that they knew that even their mom was answerable to a higher authority.

Under whose authority are you? What has been your experience in respecting and submitting to authority and training those under your authority to do the same?