I listened to a lady vent her anger over an incident that happen in her son’s elementary school classroom. It wasn’t what happened that caused distress but that she had received different versions from her son and his teacher. She suspected that her son was altering the facts to favor his position. She told her son, “Teachers don’t lie!” Now that’s backing up a teacher, a rare event in many homes.
She may have responded a little too strongly; but her intent was to transfer her authority over her son to the teacher when the child was at school. She also expected her son to respect his teacher and submit to her authority. After all, during the school year, teachers spend as many hours with students as do most of their parents.
Our son Tad is a K- 8th grade, Christian school principal. In order to urge parents to cooperate with teachers in training up children he wrote the following in the school’s newsletter.
“Last week I encouraged parents to seek constructive criticism with regard to their children. This week I hope to be helpful by giving some suggestions on how best to receive that criticism. First off, avoid the temptation to become defensive of your child. Remember that the teacher has the best interest of your child in mind. You and the teacher are working together to draw your child closer to the image of Christ. Therefore, this process will serve your child well if entered into with a positive attitude.
“After receiving advice from the teacher express your appreciation for the input given. This will encourage the teacher to freely give assessments and suggestions in the future. In addition, your reputation as a receptive parent will grow as your child moves from grade to grade.
“Finally, pray over the suggestions given by the teacher. Seek God’s guidance on how to implement corrective training, if it is needed. Remember the ultimate goal is to bring up individuals that bring glory to their Father in Heaven.”
Teachers treasure parents who want and use constructive criticism; but even more valued would be parental actions that would lessen the probability of teacher/student conflicts.
Take for example, reminding your child that teachers are like any other human. They also have good and bad days. They have different personalities and learning how to adjust and accept these will prepare a child for the adult world.
Never bad mouth a teacher or his/her actions. Don’t let your child do it either. Refrain from stirring up dissension by discussing your teacher issues with other parents. Being as unbiased as possible, collect the facts and examine the issue from both sides. Add God’s perspective.
Use what you have learned to form a response. If the fault is not with the child, first approach the teacher. If there is no satisfactory outcome, go next to the principal and then, if need be, to the school board.
By watching us, our children learn how to take a respectful stance without defying school authorities and other authorities in our communities.