We have a new ministry at our church called Life Groups. They are loosely formed around age or similar life situations and provide participants 30 minutes, right after the Sunday service, to discuss it and get to know each other better.
The teaching this week was from Matthew 5:21- 25, in which is this warning, “…everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court.” The focus of the group became how not to become angry. Probably everyone can identify with becoming angry. “Studies show that most people experience this emotion at least eight to ten times a day.” *
One woman shared her solution. “Don’t drive, ride a bike,” advice I remembered this week when I encountered a construction worker who was holding up a “Stop” sign and who was oblivious of the line of cars forming behind me and the absence of cars beyond the construction site. He was completely engrossed in his cell phone. He was too far away for me to yell from the car. Getting out of the car to confront him didn’t seem wise. So I decided to give him a blast from the horn. Just as my hand was about to apply pressure, he suddenly looked up and changed the sign. I was angry but I did not sin.
The Bible tells us, “Be angry and sin not; do not let the sun go down on your anger,…”. (Ephesians 4:26) “ Anger is simply a strong feeling of irritation or displeasure.”* It doesn’t become a sin until one reacts to it in a sinful manner or holds on to it so that it becomes a habit. It is what we do with that feeling whether it becomes a useful tool or sin. We can use anger as a caution light. It warns, “Be careful. You have a problem looming. Find out what is going on and deal with it appropriately and as quickly as possible.”
A former pastor of mine taught that when he felt angry, he would think back to when he first felt it and there he would usually find what caused his anger. It most often is the result of hurt, frustration, fear or unmet expectations.* When one does not deal with anger but stores it, at some point, the tension becomes too great and, when something is said or done that offends, there is an explosion that is difficult to understand or explain.
“Not letting the sun go down on your anger,” means that we are to deal with anger issues as they arise. Don’t stuff them. It’s important that we keep working on them until there is resolution. Carrying around anger is a burden and is unhealthy.
I can not write about anger without addressing Ephesians 6:4, “And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” It would have been so much easier for me and my husband if my parents had been able to teach me how to deal with anger when I was a child. But they could not. They were very angry people who did not deal with their own anger appropriately. Thus they provoked me to “wrath”, the word that is used in some Bible translations for the word “anger”. In English, “wrath” has the connotation of a desire to punish or get revenge, my mode of operation in relationships until I became a Christian. Angry people are miserable. Don’t let this happen to any child with whom you have influence.

* This sentence is taken from The Soul Care Bible 2001 which has been retitled The Bible for Hope (Caring for People God’s Way) 2011