It is not unusual to hear a kid blurt out, “It’s not fair.” But last week I heard it from two different Christian adults about two different situations. Each person was frustrated, bordering on anger. The male’s problem involved an action taken by the leadership of his church. He thought that what was done had been insensitive towards some members. The woman’s concern was how a preexisting rule of a missionary group did not acknowledge the work done by individuals in the group.
The male had time to pray through his problem before expressing it to me. He decided to approach those who may have been hurt, by what he considered a thoughtless action, and try to discern whether or not they felt slighted. If they did, he would find ways to build them up.
On the other hand, the female had just left her situation when we met and she was in full blown anger. But after she vented she did say, “ I know that God does not want me to feel this way and I’ll get over it.”
Since I heard these two stories, I have been amazed how often I hear people complaining that something is not fair. This got me thinking, “How does one define ‘fair’?” The Merriam-Webster Dictionary was a help. ‘Fairness’ is, “… marked by impartiality and honesty: free from self-interest, prejudice or favoritism.”
My next thought was, “How does a Christian get over what she/he thinks is unfair?” Looking at the interchangeable synonyms of ‘fair’ helps.

Fair – a proper balance of conflicting interests
Just – following of a standard that is right and proper
Equitable – equal treatment of all concerned
Impartial – absence of favor or prejudice

Discerning in what way the problem is unfair allows a Christian to be more specific when going to God in prayer about the issue. Then when praying, the Christian will do well to ask God to reveal when he/she has committed a similar action in the past. Wait a few days. God will usually break through with a stunning revelation, unless I am the only one that He is faithful to convict? Thoroughly humbled, we can now ask forgiveness for ourselves and the one thought to have violated fairness. As we continue to pray, God may ask us to speak to the one or group that is thought of as unfair. Recognizing that we also are prone to be unfair helps us to to speak up with grace, using the right timing, tact and tone.

Some of us have gone through times, or are in a situation now, in which we accuse God of being unfair. I have been there, done that and have come to these conclusion:

God created me for a purpose.
That purpose fits into a greater plan of which I can not see the details.
God loves me.
He will not permit anything in my life that I cannot get through with Him.
He will use, if I cooperate, all in my life for good and His glory.

Having walked with Him through many trials and temptations for almost fifty years and having found Him faithful, I can not accuse Him. Instead I keep walking, watching and waiting for Him to work in my life and the lives of others.