MOVING ON OVER
It was mid-morning and I was driving on the freeway to a town thirty minutes away. The traffic was sparse; so I was enjoying the view of vineyards, blue sky with humongous clouds and newly greened hills. I wasn’t in a hurry. I had plenty of time to make my meeting.
Suddenly I looked to my left and a car was upon me, moving dangerously close. I glanced at the driver. She was staring straight ahead, oblivious of my presence. As I moved to the right, synchronized with the car moving into my lane, I remember thinking, “I hope no one is in the on-ramp lane.” I had no time to check.
Free and clear of anyone in my new lane, I again checked the offending car. It sped-up, the driver still staring straight ahead. What was that woman thinking? How could she be so unaware of my car?
I was surprised by my emotions. I was more flabbergasted than upset or charged with adrenalin. Perhaps it was that I had covered my trip in prayer earlier in the ride, asking for alertness, defensive driving and a wall of protection to surround me.
When I returned home I told my husband of the incident. His only comment was, “Did you honk your horn?” I replied with consternation, “There was no time. There was only six inches between cars!” I have ridden with him enough to know what he would have done – laid on the horn and gas pedal and stuck to his lane.
Thinking about the incident later, I wondered if each of us responds to someone unexpectedly moving into our territory (our set way of life, be it job, ministry or activity) as we would a car unexpectedly moving into our lane of traffic. Do we honk our horn, remain in our lane no matter what, or speed up yelling, “You can’t catch me.” Or do we move over as best we can?
As one gets older, there seems to be more times when one is faced with this kind of life situation. Frustration builds, especially if the the invader seems to be unaware of what is happening.
With this in mind, I realized that I move over a lot more than I used to; but most often I pray before responding. It prevents unwanted strife for others and myself.
For me the next generation has taken over hosting family traditions. That’s a good thing. They also do the set-up and clean-up after meals together. Another good thing. Younger ones now do ministry that once was my God-given assignment. That has been difficult to accept. I moved my bedroom downstairs because of well-meaning, friend and family pressure. After months of restless nights, I reclaimed my lane and moved quietly, but permanently, back upstairs.
I’m not giving-up or giving-in, just adjusting. But last month an incident happened that has caused me to be determined to honk my horn and remain in my lane. To move quietly over would cause too many casualties.
I’ll tell you about it in the next post.
One thing I will continue to do , the Lord willing, is cook three meals a day and for special occasions. My husband Len won’t let me stop. I have been cooking since I was nine years old. A few years back I did catering with a partner for three years. We made a promise that the business would never interfere with our relationship with God or our families. Well, it came to a point when we were so busy that our promise was threatened; so we quit.
My partner was good at California Cuisine and I did comfort food. So you will be surprised when you don’t find cheese or butter in the recipe that I’m passing along. It also meets two of my recipe criteria. It tastes good and is easy to make.
Golden Artichoke – Chicken Bake
1 can condensed golden mushroom soup
¾ cup fire-roasted green salsa
¼ teaspoon cumin
4 boneless chicken breast halves
1 can Fanci Food Quartered Artichoke Hearts, drained
½ cup sliced black olives, drained
In mixing bowl, combine soup, salsa and cumin; set aside. Arrange chicken in 9 x 9 inch baking dish. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Place artichoke hearts around chicken. Pour soup mixture over top and sprinkle with olives. Bake 25 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink in the center. Serves 4.
Taken from Fanci Food Quartered Artichoke Hearts label
Margie Theiss 
Wow. So many thoughts swirled around while I was reading your post. It occurred to me how quickly life can change without a moment’s notice. I had to smile at your description of how Len would have responded in the same situation (we rode with him to Ashland, remember?!). During the course of my 10-year commute, I’ve learned to cope by being willing to give up my “rights”. If it’s my right-of-way, my lane, my right to merge – and someone else wants it – I give it to them. If someone cuts in front of me and then slows to a dangerous crawl, I either slow down or move over. The only time I feel the need to honk my horn is if I can prevent an accident. I developed this mindset, not because I’m such a nice person (ha!) but because it is a way to survive the rigors of commuting without getting an ulcer. Prayer, a willingness to ‘give in’, and my seatbelt are my defense mechanisms. 🙂
That being said, I don’t find “moving over” to be all that easy in the other areas of my life. I expect to find it REALLY difficult as I get older and those who love me are convinced that they know best what I need. I will turn 65 this year, and am on the alert for role-models who can show me how to grow old gracefully, which, to me, means continuing to live with an independent spirit while at the same time being able to evaluate and gently accept (or reject!) advice. When I accepted a job offer in Sonoma ten years ago at age 54 my daughter thought I was crazy. “You can’t commute almost 2 hours round-trip EVERY day!” she said. She had other, equally ‘compelling” reasons why accepting the job was not going to be good for me. It turned out to be a nice job – not perfect, but one that has brought me satisfaction – and a paycheck!
I love what you said Margie. We don’t have to give-up or give-in but if we want to avoid angst we will eventually have to learn to “adjust”. I like to think of it as learning to find a new “normal.” I can hardly wait to hear what you have to say about moving over quietly causing too many casualties. Don’t wait too long!
By the way, thanks for the recipe! I’ll try it! P.S. I’ve never in my life cooked three meals a day! Maybe two, plus a sandwich or something thrown in there around the middle of the day! Oh well, I have other strengths, right?